Funnyy Jokes X0(

Twinkle Twinkle little star,
You should know what you are,

And once you know what you are,
Mental hospital is not so far...

A student was asked 2 write
a signboard 4 the traffic rules
near da college campus

He wrote:-

"Drive Carefully!
Don't kill the students,
wait for the Teachers"

Touch ur heart,
u will feel the rhythm of ur heartbeat..

Touch ur head,
.
.
.
.
u will feel the rhythm of empty pot..

tin…tin....

Santa joined new job. 1st day he worked till late evening on the computer.
Boss was happy and asked "what you did till evening?"
Santa :"Keyboard alphabets were not in order, so I made it alright"

The brain is a wonderful organ.
It starts working the moment you get
up and does not stop until u get into the office...!

BOSS To An Employee....
.
"Do You Believe In Life After Death?"
.
EMPLOYEE.....
.
"Certainly Not! There's No Proof Of It",
He Replied.
.
.
BOSS: "Well, There Is Now. After You Left
Early Yesterday To Go To Your Uncle's
Funeral, He Came Here Looking For You.

BOSS to an employee....
"Do you believe in life after Death?"
EMPLOYEE.....
"Certainly not! There's no proof of it",
he replied...
BOSS: "Well, there is now. After you left
early yesterday to go to your uncle's
funeral, he came here looking for you.

Two Best advices for safe life :

1. Always speak the truth, no matter how bitter harsh it is ..

2. Run immediately after saying it..

In a Mental Hospital a journalist asked the Doctor:
How do u determine whether to admit a patient or not?

Dr: Well, we first fill a BathTub & give a teaspoon, a glass & a bucket to the patient & ask them to empty the Bathtub....

Journalist: Oh, obviously a normal person would use d bucket bcoz its bigger....

Dr: NO, a normal person would pull the drain plug!
Now will u plz proceed to bed no.39

Question: "How to kill an ant?"

Asked in an exam for 10 marks!

Student:
Mix chilli powder with sugar,
&
Keep it outside the ant's hole

After eating,
ant will search for some water near a water tank.
Push ant in to it!
Now ant will go to dry itself near fire,
When it reaches fire, put a bomb into d fire!
Then admit wounded ant in icu!
And then
remove oxygen mask from it's mouth and kill the ant

Moral:
Don't play with students!
They can do any thing for 10 marks