Anyone interested in TEACHING me? :pray:

So I'm looking for someone here (possibly high rated player) to teach me how to play chess from the scratch. In a perfect world and if I'm truly serious, I know I should've joined some chess club or something but I would like to try here since it's the best site for the chess players.
Surely, there's got to be someone who's willing, patient enough and really good player and up for teaching me, right!?

Pretty pleeeeeze!